Old Timey Voices ON THE MARCH!

I’m not usually a fan of anything you could call a sport. While my sister spends the weekends at home with my dad yelling at the TV, trying to will this QB to run faster or that big guy who’s known for his weird hair to pass to the next dude, I cringe in slow agony, withered by the lack of updates in the blogosphere; witnessing a game that says it only takes one hour of time on the clock stretch on for four. Finally, I’ve found one thing connected to sports analysis that I can get behind: Tom Gribble of 1310AM The Ticket’s BaD Radio Show goes to after-game conferences (am I the only ones who think these big lugs look strange in suits?) and asks players and coaches questions about the game in a Depression Era newsman voice, complete with references to Prohibition, Speakeasies and the Jitterbug. As someone who wonders why the 6 o’clock news isn’t done in that amazing news reel voice from Citizen Kane, this is a bit of a windfall.


Kane for comparison:


This is probably because of a gag from freshman year in college in which my friends Kayla and Courtney (two hilarious dames if I do say so) enjoyed performing similar voices and acting like nosy film noir detectives. To this day Courtney routinely exclaims “What’s the poop?!,” rarely without laughing half way through and much to the confusion of the more pedestrian folks around. We found this so uproariously funny that during one particular late night giggle session Kayla and Courtney recorded my answering machine message as the two detectives repeatedly asking “Hello?” “Hello?” “Hello?!” before saying I wasn’t there and asking the caller to leave a message. Though this brought me much joy and tears of laughter it was eventually removed after my mother in an uncharacteristic flight of paranoia declared that upon hearing it she thought I had been kidnapped. Thanks, mom.